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Picture: Girl sitting near water

annie
Sun, 16 Sep 2012 03:09:34 GMT

See picture: [Girl sitting near water](http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn196/maotsujun_com/FiveSentenceFics/Water_zps96cead1b.jpg)

tasha
Mon, 17 Sep 2012 09:39:42 GMT

She let her legs sway the top of the water causing ripples to break out amongst the water.She let her eyes close only listening to the sound of her feet swaying against the water tickling the bottom of her feet. She felt safe here in her own little world nothing could hurt her and sometimes she wish she could stay there forever because then nothing could ever hurt her. She knew that it was impossible but even if she could pretend for a little while she would be happy enough. She opened her eyes again dipping her toes into the water, instant coldness shot through her body. She gasped a little before putting her whole foot in and swaying it in the water causing bigger ripples of waves to pan out across the water. hope this is okay it was very hard doing 5 setences when the first 3 was perfect LOL ( to me anyway)

annie
Tue, 18 Sep 2012 00:31:38 GMT

That's a good start, Tasha. =D Actually, it should be easier for you to do 5 sentences because your first post was more than 3 sentences (you forgot a few periods). And your current post is about 8 sentences. My advice for you is to properly use commas or periods when you have long sentences (we need to breathe when we read ~_^): > She let her legs sway the top of the water, causing ripples to break out amongst the water. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of her feet swaying against the water tickling the bottom of her feet. She felt safe here in her own little world. Nothing could hurt her and sometimes she wished she could stay there forever because then nothing could ever hurt her. She knew that it was impossible but if she could pretend for a little while, she would be happy enough. She opened her eyes again, dipping her toes into the water. Instant coldness shot through her body. She gasped a little before putting her whole foot in and swaying it in the water and causing bigger ripples of waves to pan out across the water.

nitelotus
Tue, 18 Sep 2012 00:55:40 GMT

Somebody told Annie that if she went to this lake, he would come. That he would come back for her. Nobody can console her when Mike left. Suddenly, a hand emerged from the murky depths and caressed her ankles. Annie smiled as she said, "Welcome home, Mike."

annie
Tue, 18 Sep 2012 01:09:02 GMT

T_T Awww Jannie, kudos to you! I have tears in my eyes (I love angsty stuff). XD Why did Mike leave? What happened? Ahh

lillith
Tue, 18 Sep 2012 03:03:18 GMT

OMG JANNIE. Is he like a merman?Or like a sea god... dude seriously Jannie kudos <3

lillith
Tue, 18 Sep 2012 03:04:54 GMT

Dude...Tasha this was very thought provoking...I think it was just about a girl trying to break away from her life for a second. Like live outside her body. But maybe she would drown in this reality tooo at least that was the image I got :) good job!

binibningpunkista
Tue, 18 Sep 2012 05:46:47 GMT

@Jannie: Why did I find that so romantic and yet eerie??? Nonetheless I loved that >_<

nitelotus
Tue, 18 Sep 2012 23:43:58 GMT

@Shan: Thank you! I wanted it that way. Glad I was able to convey both feelings with such a short sentence.

nitelotus
Tue, 18 Sep 2012 23:45:06 GMT

@Annie: Actually, it was more that he died. But one can guess one way or the other. But thank you! (I love angsty stuff as well.)

nitelotus
Tue, 18 Sep 2012 23:45:41 GMT

@Lillith: Thanks bb! And lol, maybe a merman or the sea god. But BBPunkista got it right. I was going more for the eerie/scary feeling.

tasha
Wed, 19 Sep 2012 21:49:30 GMT

@Lillith: haha thank you :)

tasha
Wed, 19 Sep 2012 21:52:01 GMT

@Annie: I meant the first 3 setences of the5 sentence if that makes sense loool xD anyway thank you :) and yeah I need to learn more about periods and all that my poor readers will have no breath reading all that hahah xD