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Quote: If you're leaving me then lie, lie with a smile...

lillith
Sun, 16 Sep 2012 05:26:04 GMT

_If you're leaving me then lie, lie with a smile and say I'll see you later and then say you're joking about breaking up._ -Even if I Die, I Can't Let You Go by 2AM

cherry
Sun, 16 Sep 2012 08:04:11 GMT

He didn’t want to hear her words again, he didn’t need them to be repeated to understand them. He forced himself to laugh; “You don’t know what you’re saying”. He knew he sounded pathetic; she did know what she was saying, and she obviously meant it. He tortured himself by looking into her eyes, her beautiful eyes full of regret and pity for him. A tear rolled down his cheek and he broke down. I tried >.<

christine
Sun, 16 Sep 2012 14:47:11 GMT

awwww that was so sad cherry!!! good job! <333

lillith
Sun, 16 Sep 2012 16:37:28 GMT

you tried so well! omg try more often! i loved this :Dit was the perfect five sentence fic for this <3 and it fits with the song so well omg T.T <3

annie
Sun, 16 Sep 2012 16:41:22 GMT

Good job, Cherry! I loved it! *thumbs up* Thanks for trying! I hope you continue to participate. =D There were about 6 sentences but you did very well (if you want to know why, let me know).

cherry
Sun, 16 Sep 2012 17:18:52 GMT

:O I'd appreciate that very much! The reason i didnt originally wanna participate was cause i dont know anything about using commas or anything in english. So if you could help me with that i would be forever grateful.

annie
Sun, 16 Sep 2012 18:08:50 GMT

N.B. I'm not an expert at punctuation, especially when it comes to semicolons. Incorrect: He didn’t want to hear her words again, he didn’t need them to be repeated to understand them. Correct: He didn’t want to hear her words again; he didn’t need them to be repeated to understand them. According to this site [http://owl.english.purdue.edu/...](http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/04/), you can "use a semicolon when you link two independent clauses with no connecting words". The overuse of semicolons can be annoying to the readers though. Incorrect: He forced himself to laugh; “You don’t know what you’re saying”. Correct: He forced himself to laugh. “You don’t know what you’re saying.” You used an action tag (laugh), therefore there should be a period (not a semicolon or a comma). Source: [http://www.writing-world.com/f...](http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/said.shtml) Periods always go inside the quotations marks. Source: [http://www.asianfanfiction.com...](http://www.asianfanfiction.com/viewpage.php?page=quotation_marks) Dialogue tags are: said, replied, asked, whispered, etc. Action tags are: laughed, grinned, smiled, sneered, etc.

cherry
Sun, 16 Sep 2012 18:14:11 GMT

Haha xD i got soooo confused, but thank you anyways :) (grammar words arent really a part of my vocabulary, you see) Semicolons (im guessing they're these ; ) arent used in finnish, or its about your personal writing style if you use them, so i naturally avoid using them in english.

annie
Sun, 16 Sep 2012 18:24:41 GMT

I avoid using semicolons in English too (sometimes I use them in French when I know how to do so). Actually, I hate them. XD

binibningpunkista
Mon, 17 Sep 2012 14:04:55 GMT

Ditto on semi colons! I would rather use a dash instead of semi colon. Dashes look more attractive and fun when used in sentences and I use it for the feel of it and not because of grammar-shmuck... ...and I just had to insert my two cents in your topic. LOL.