Barry, this is beautiful! Only thing I don't get is the black screen for a few seconds in the middle. I don't think it is needed, if that was intentional. Great rendition of your script, though.
I loved how you shot the scenes with the younger version. You did a great job casting. Overall a very solid piece of work.
Barry, I tried to post before and failed. I think this works well from the script you did, and I told you that privately. It's always important for me when watching any kind of film to know what the hell is actually going on. As we know the premise of all these films we're given a quick clue in but it's still important that we know FROM the film. And this couldn't have been clearer; a man using these final hours to visit the graves of the dear departed...then the flashback to those happier days. It's simple and clear cut in conception and filmed without any disturbing trickery; the flash-back is clearly indicating those better days, and makes it clear he's psychologically ready to join them. I confess I didn't notice - or it didn't register on me - the black screen Michele Florea refers to. I thought this was an absorbing, emotional but relatively restrained piece of work. As a general note I'd say that the quality of film-making on all the entries I've seen so far has been top-notch. There are some great film-makers out there. You bagged some. Well-done. Stuart
Barry and Filmmakers. Wow! I love this. You should indeed be proud of this. So many aspects I love: the hazy camera, the sunlight, the tone, your elder male actor is just superb! The look in his eyes on reaching the grave is incredibly moving. The whole film brings a tear to my eye as did Barry's beautiful script. I think you've done an incredible job and I like his struggling journey through the grass. For the next edit, I think two things slightly spoil it for me and could easily be fixed in edit. The opening sequence, although blurred out, it looks like people watching you film in the background. I think you could start this instead from the rear shot of the actor and eliminate that. Also, you can see the track marks of the motor cart in the grass before he gets there. It would be better to use a different angle/shot and eliminate that. I really, really love this and your main actor. Massive well done.
When visuals alone... without a word of dialogue spoken... can bring tears to someone's eyes, then you've done a fine job. My only criticism is it feels just the slightest bit long-ish, so I hope you've been tightening it up just a little since this edit... a couple frames here and there throughout to really make it perfect.
Well done all. A beautiful and simple script from Barry executed superbly. Clearly you had a very lucky day weather wise on the shoot and the light has been used so well to give some stunning shots. The central performance is strong. His determined look at the outset sets the scene, leading to the poignant end. And no dialogue! I love visual films and here everything we need to know is there to see. I agree there is room the tightening. I think early shots could take a quicker edit to add to the pace and urgency - to get to the graveside. I appreciate he is restricted in pace, but the longer scenes give a sense of time being on his side. For me, you could also lose some of the out of focus shots in the flashback. Not entirely, I found they add to the sense of a fading memory but the amount of in and out of focus was a little distracting for me. Great stuff.
This was great fun to make and a great crew!
Just beautiful - this superb script deserved to be handled with a gentle touch and you've absolutely pulled it off. I love that there's no dialogue, the focus changes work brilliantly, and the music is spot on. Casting, acting, filming, works for me on all levels.
This film really resonated emotionally for me and because there's no dialogue it had even more of an impact. The acting is great and there are some lovely shots, especially the hazy memory scenes. I agree that it would benefit from being tightened up especially when he's en route to the graves and that black screen moment could be cut as well.
I can really only echo what the others have offered for suggestions, so I'll just focus on two that I think are most important. Yes, there's a background shot where it looks like the people on the street are watching the film being made... consider a different take, or just eliminate it. And two, get him to the grave sooner. That whole opening sequence can be drastically shortened. Yes, the trek is a struggle for him, and you can still show that, but it doesn't have to go on as long as it does. Maybe the same can be said for the fuzzy flashback images, too. Maybe they're just a bit too long? I can't say on those, as I do like them, but others seem to agree they could be trimmed back a little, so they might be right. I like this film, and I can't wait to see what you do with everyone's suggestions when the next version is available.
I really lied the idea of this and the cinematography and sound were great. The only criticism I would say is that there is too much blurry footage - it's nice in moderation but I think it was used too much.
How wonderful to watch something that doesn't have jarring stock music telling the audience what to feel all the way through! Instead you are trusting the story and your actor to reach the audience. This should be an obvious thing, but it's actually proving rather unusual! Well done, this was nice and pared-back. I agree with other's comments you could edit down the journey to the grave and it did look a bit like some of the crew were sat on the car watching the filming in the opening scene. And yes, the black screen isn't needed. It makes sense without it. Great work - well done! :D
I have to echo what has already been said. Tighter edit at the beginning. The tyre tracks can be seen from when he went there before so if you can cut that bit out, better. The black screen from when he lies down and then wakes up - far too long. A quick fade would be plenty. I liked the blurry shots when he meets up with his wife and daughter, again a tighter edit would be fine. A few frames here and there. Great little film.
A very poignant film. Convincing acting, and some great shots. Only two bits snapped me out of the moment: (1) The people in the background, from around 0:19. The ones on the right appeared to be watching the filming, and on the left, we appeared to have someone attempting to manhandle and strangle someone else? (a reaction to the impact news, perhaps?) (2) Having struggled to get across the grass to the grave, at around 1:53 we see that his loved ones' graves are actually right next door to another hard track, which he would surely have been able to use his mobility scooter on? Enjoyed it though. Great job!
This is such a moving story. I have three comments. I think the old man's journey to the grave should be shorter. I think maybe some bird song in the graveyard might be quite nice, as it is deathly silent. And maybe just tweak the flashbacks a little to shorten then. I love the way the flashbacks have been filmed.
I have to admit the era of the flashback surprised me and took me out of the film for a moment - the outfits suggest post-war or at latest 1950s? Your actor doesn’t look old enough to have had a family back then! Otherwise, a simple story, well-acted and well-told.
Hi there. I've watched the film for the second time now and have a couple comments. I was not reading the previous comments to stay with my opinion. What I liked - the very beginning is great, well done to build panic and a little twist of a man's vehicle (sorry, don't know how it is called in English). I liked also the style of flashbacks. The acting was good a believable. What I would suggest changing maybe: - in the beginning, the grading is a bit dark, but maybe it is just for me. - I would shorten a bit the first part - between the start of his way, to the moment when he is near the grave. - For me, the close up on the man at 2-45 is way too long for such a short film. - Why do you have a blackout at 2:50? To show the passing of time? Didn't work for me, sorry. Was looking more just like a lack of frame there. And again - having his CU after is too long overall. - I understand you were saving music for the flashbacks, but the part of his way to grave and befo re he laid on the ground was too silent for me. Maybe you can work on the sound around? Some muffled sounds can be heard from the streets around the cemetery for example.
A touching emotional piece of cinematography. No dialogue for a change is really refreshing. I echo everything above about the cuts to get into the story quicker and shorten his journey to the grave which is where it all happens. Also for me some of the handheld was a bit too handheld and wobbly to distraction - I became aware of the camera and it took me out of the story so if you are cutting cut those bits first! I like the flashback and music coming in only where it was needed. The silent sections worked great for me with just the sound of his breathing - maybe that could go a touch louder? Love it.
If I was being super-critical I would ask why he tried to drive over the grass when there was a path right by the grave he ended up at? You can drastically cut down the approach part and it will still resonate really well. Great job on the rest of it.