Thu, 18 Apr 2019 04:00:35 GMT
I got the great good fortune to travel into Bosnia next month. I've always wanted to experience these sacred tours, yet the price tag is way out of my budget. This ones right up my alley. And I am most grateful.
My hearts desire, the one my heart aches for, I've come to realize that the memories were less and less and far and wide. So, it surprised me when an idea 'popped' into my minds eye. Invite him to meet up with you in Amsterdam, after the tour. I pondered for three days. Allowing my mind to process both outcomes and finally come to terms with non attaching to an outcome.
But love prevails. I sent the most heart felt, divine intervention love letter to a man my heart loved til death do us part.
I have a history of 3 years of deep polarity with him that wasn't pretty. But determined to make it work, whatever this means. Committed. The whole 9 yards.
Intuition by the second day, turned me into a bear. Flarining emotions roaring loudly and uncontrollable. I allowed my heart to express itself, come to terms with it. Reality. Neutralized. Strength and endurance.
Here' s the kicker. I rested my mind with T Kumaras podcast for the night to fall into a deep restful sleep. I kid you not, both my hands pulsated. It was like they were being blessed, not sure how to describe this.
When I woke up my heart was empty. No feelings at all. Not a state I'd want to live with for the rest of my life.Can one get stuck in a state and never get out of it?
He declined my offer. At the end of his short note, he said, se lave'
In an instant, my heart broke open, started healing and loving itself. Saying goodbye as the visual of a Phoenix rising, feelings of being resurrected from burning flames. Se lave' I learned it meant, 'to wash ones hands of.' This was the first time ever, that this man has took responsibility for his actions.
It was like the Divine Essence Mother/Father God kept us together, until now. I followed my guidance and got a closure!
Of all the relationships, in all the world's, where one was dumped, abandoned, no longer wanted, may my healing be blessed throughout the entire matrix of this third world. May everyone heal those deep dark wounds for the sake of humanity, one heart at a time. And may all 💖s heal, as have I.
Sarajevo is known for its phoenix rising. The waters there are the purest in all the world. Blessed Be. Amen. xj.
Sun, 09 Jun 2019 04:24:26 GMT
I went to Bosnia and realized I no longer care to experience sacred sites. I enjoyed the people, but really came up with nothing significant. I did hear a resonating voice proclaim; "Phffff. No big deal. Go on out." It disheartened me. I cried a lot. It was a pyramid that has healing chambers. That's what I wanted to experience. To heal my heart.
When I came back. I was disheartened. I really didn't want to come back into the same situation I just left. So I procrastinated, til my mother asked me to leave. Go where? I don't have anywhere to go!
One year ago, my place got sold so everyone at the DSG, we all had to leave one by one. It was two households this month. So I stayed with them, helped them pack. One day lead into two. Then one more night. I was truly blessed. This place, the DSG, is my heaven on earth. I felt like I was in a dream. A dream within a dream. For 9 days. I was blissed out. No money. No home. But friends who needed me. Then, I heard that voice. The one in the pyramid. The realization. I was stuck. In a dream. Where my heart soared. Loved. Laughed. Enjoyed life. That voice made me realize, it's time to move on.
So, letting go of a man, so long ago. That my heart desires, made me realize, it's crying because I didn't give him the attention he well deserved. I was so deep in my Avatar studies, radiating love, joy, truth etc etc. hoping it'd rub off on him! Well, it didn't. And I don't do well with shallow conversations and people who refuse to evolve. Hate judgemental people who 'think they know me too. So I've lost him, our home, my job, car. I'm exhausted.
So, watching everyone get on with their lives. And I'm twiddling my thumbs. Not enjoying life. Not one tinny tiny bit. xj.