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Where I am

♢♡ janet
Sun, 09 Jun 2019 03:59:09 GMT

Not quite sure if I'm benefiting anymore with these programs of yours Tiera. In good faith, I started in 2015 and have followed my heart ever since. I feel so lonely, all I can feel is broken hearted. I feel completely lost and disheartened. I'm angry now because I feel so ripped off. Duped. I have no open doors, No real concerns to do or be anything at all. All I do is sit. I have no desire to do anything at all, nor carry on any kind of conversation with anyone. Want to be left alone, quite frankly. No direction in life, no hopes nor dreams. Just a blank slate. Feel like such a loser in life. I cry everyday at the loss of my previous life. Just want to have the bottom fall open and swallow me up. I don't even care anymore. My life is by far not even remotely close to what I wanted. So disappointed. I done. xj.

♢♡ janet
Sat, 15 Jun 2019 03:06:21 GMT

realized that my main heartbreak is that I lost my sense of independence. I've always took care of myself, had my back, not really 'depending' on anyone really. Yet, really had to depend on others at certain stages of my life for shelter. Being let down by others was just life pushing me into more growth experiences. I prefer my own space, (lived alone for most of my life) single, never married nor had children; I knew I had my back. After everything crumbled 10 years ago, my self identity of who I thought I was projected a facade. Never really recouped. I always felt like I was someone. Like I'd crack that code of becoming absolutely happy in this world. I hope I breakthrough. xj.

Sat, 15 Jun 2019 18:51:18 GMT

Hi! I've been doing Tiara experiences since 2008 - back to the something about Ki and several variations of the original Rites of Passage. I can only say that as a formerly completely messed up person from an incredibly abusive childhood, it has taken me over a decade to release release release. During that period, I had severe injuries including a back injury and life-threatening asthma for most of the period. I even got hit by lightning. Currently, my son refuses to have any relationship with us because his crazy nanny (for my beloved grandchildren) kicked us out of his house.for no reason that I understand. But all these things are our gifts to go forward, I think. Happy easy lives don't seek the Divine. You sound absolutely broken hearted. I am broken hearted about my son. But it's my call to release my emotions and let the divine Presence replace my emotions. People are all on their own Paths, doing hurtful things to survive, and life is really hard. I'm not an expert, but I think that you may enjoy the challenge of just releasing. And releasing. And then releasing more. I think releasing is something like forgiving. We're all in this together. It's quite a project!

Sun, 16 Jun 2019 18:51:44 GMT

Hi Connie, I feel that the feedback to your enquiry about centre point is in what you have just written above about releasing, releasing and more releasing. Then the settling in happens as the emotions have been released. Then calmness and Presence as you say. Still point, centre point. One and the same for me. Whatever colour or shape it takes... X

Sun, 16 Jun 2019 18:52:35 GMT

Take care of yourself Janet X

Sun, 16 Jun 2019 21:22:09 GMT

I don't think the multidimensional portal has anything to do with emotions - it has no emotional component. As I mentioned earlier, without the visual connection with this sphere, I can use intent to find expansive stability, peace and Divine Presence . I'm sorry I wasn't clear. The note about release was an independent response - but then, we know that nothing is truly independent, right? It only looks separate to the ego. So I think there is a deeper truth to your comments that I need to investigate. Thanks Miriam and Janet for the gifted sharing!

♢♡ janet
Mon, 17 Jun 2019 00:40:22 GMT

It's very reassuring that I am not alone, nor ashamed of who I am (whatever that means) for that matter. Thank you, Connie for your experience. Sometimes I can get caught up in the spiritual glammer of things and wonder, 'if I'm doing the best I can at each given moment, why do I feel like I am nothing?' It does take courage to be the better person sometimes. Lead by example. I'm learning to relax, trying to trust, and quite frankly, each rite T. Kumara puts us through (by my own violation) is a rite to passage. She quite frankly, blows me out of the water. Her works are spot on with clearing the old paradigm. I do need to believe in a higher divine purpose. All is in Divine Timing, and hoping I won't be disappointed with my life's work. Just sometimes I need to be outspoken and wonder, Can Anybody Hear Me??? All my best. Thanks for sharing.... ps being kicked out and told to leave the majority of my life, it just hurts my soul to feel so unwanted.

Mon, 17 Jun 2019 02:04:27 GMT

It's funny how sometimes it's ecstatic and sometimes agonizing. After the first rite, I cried for days. Any thought I had of how well I've done over the last 4 decades (I'm 67) in healing and spiritual progress was blown completely out of the water. We are chosen for the teacher and the teacher is chosen for us, and Tiara is a gift that I'm humbled to receive. These rites have given me the acceptance that I'm OK and full just as I am - at least most of the time. That's an almost impossibly hard thing to teach and to accept. And so easy to feel unwanted - having my beloved son just refuse to have contact, for no known reason - life really gives us what we need to work through, feel, and release. And it's usually major. I have to say, writing to you opens the full beloved group for me and spills grace all through me. Nice. Another gift! Thanks. for being here.

Tiara Kumara
Thu, 27 Jun 2019 20:05:13 GMT

Hi Janet, not quite sure how to answer your initial sharing and without knowing the full gamut of what your situation is on all levels. Feeling like you are in a "void" is certainly part of the process of consciousness transformation and this often can hang around for a while until certain lessons are learned. Just remember that you are the one creating your reality based upon how you think. With the thoughts that you are expressing, it's no wonder you feel the way you do. I am happy to give you a personal one on one session. I also recommend a dedicated program of thought repolarization... and a dedicated practice of daily affirmations to recode your thought perceptions. In addition, frequent holistic cleansing would be very beneficial... whole body cleansing. You have to purge this negativity and confusion out of your system. Bless you, Tiara

♢♡ janet
Wed, 03 Jul 2019 23:49:43 GMT

Well, thank you Tiara. I may get with you on that personal session. Your thought repolarization really came alive in me. Like you said, we've been waiting for. Guess my contractions and emptiness felt lonely. Sorry if I went off the deep end and expressed my pain. That's all I know. Trust in faith that something someday will open for me. And your right, lessons to learn. Oh boy. Personal responsibility is my gamechanger. Who am I giving my power to? So, back to basics. I just felt discernment needed to be more honored and how to implement a win win situation. ps. Thought Repolarization was my first time in a very long time (actually first) that I saw flashes of sparkly lights in my upper right brain hemisphere. Like pearls strung together. Love to everyone As I raise above This pain Triggers and all. I have the right to choose how to be and will no longer have my environment dictate this aspect for me. Love to everyone xj.💕💹🌏😊

♢♡ janet
Thu, 04 Jul 2019 03:05:25 GMT

The lights were diamond shaped strung like.. glistening with holistic awareness. I was at first fascinated to zoom in for a closer look. Yet, I was unable. It felt ship like, underneath part. I was thrilled to be contacted and being and seeing them, I felt blessed. I opened my eyes to be sure the sunlight wasn't playin tricks on me. Nope. Closed them again, and there they were. Intelligent energy. Full of awareness. I am happy.

♢♡ janet
Thu, 18 Jul 2019 04:12:03 GMT

I think this whole bottom line is,( my initial frustration) I feel blind and I can't hear. I want to "know" how to express myself upon my journey and I'm at a loss for words. I want to tell everybody (actually shout from the rooftops) how amazing these rites of passages are. But I fall short. All I can do is keep myself afloat. Share on fb. And hope I can someday show proof that this program saved my life. Guess the day in the sun will come. But for now, I am satisfied with not seeing. Because if I did, I suspose, I'd be too far gone in blissville. Hearing my own guru is fine. I am curious though how to collaborate with the guardian's, or who is on my team. What's it really like to be in unity consciousness?

Thu, 18 Jul 2019 16:47:15 GMT

I find the bliss and experiences come and go. I appreciate having a practice to fall back on - right now, repeating that my higher mind is in union with the divine mind; and my thoughts are the divine mind's thoughts.

♢♡ janet
Thu, 18 Jul 2019 23:30:04 GMT

Mixir was live for the matrix shift at 4pm central. I had no idea but my body totally flipped out with no validity. I ended up lying down and putting in the practice and I feel into a deep sleep. Totally! My heart burst wide open! I need companionship and authentic conversation. xj.

Fri, 19 Jul 2019 02:26:12 GMT

awesome! I think doing this journey alone, which I normally do, is really hard. I can see why churches were invented - a spiritual support group is important and hard to find.