Sun, 20 Nov 2022 22:48:30 GMT
Hey everybody. Before I talk bout this, I don’t expect you all to read this whole thing, I just wanted to put it out there for whoever might want an explanation. So I’ve been on this site for a long time and I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with it but I would just keep comin back. I loved to rap, and in particular, I loved to write. I figured that if I wanted to do that, I would just have to put up with the way that community was and try to fit in. And there were things I read on here that would make me cry. There were things I read on here that would make me uncomfortable without knowin why. And even in my work and on the forums, there were some things that I wrote not cause I believed em, but cause that’s what other people we’re doin and I wanted not to be rejected by the community. I remember I used to fall back on ya mama jokes and one day I just thought to myself, “What am I doin? I wouldn’t say or do these things in the real world. This ain’t me, it never was and I can’t let it ever be.” So I just stopped and my work was so much better for it, I felt like I was closer to bein who I really was instead of this mask of sayin dumb shit to seem cool or get acceptance. Some users would say things that made my skin crawl and instead of confrontin it, I would ignore it to avoid trouble. I remember readin things on the forum or on Discord like “Psycho Puppet thinks they cool” or “Psycho Puppet looks up to them” and that was just never the case, I was actually hella shocked and saddened by a lotta things they posted, I just wasn’t a confrontational person. Bein autistic, I feel like I often misunderstand people’s intentions or just how the world works, so I would keep tellin myself “Oh it was just a joke” or “Hopefully I’m just misunderstandin.” Even with this tournament I planned to host, one of the participants said some awful shit and I was uncomfortable with em bein in the tournament, so I just hoped they would get knocked out sooner rather than later. Or when I saw somebody who said they respected me then say somethin like “that’s so autistic” or “stop bein retarded” I considered tellin em somethin like “You know I’m autistic, right?” But I was terrified of confrontin anybody bout those things. I’m done with all that, I hate to put my foot down but I also wanna be a more confrontational person and say somethin. I have always wanted to be a kind person as much as I can and I think part of that is keepin an open mind as I grow older and learn more bout the world we all live in, so I’ve decided to leave this place and start over. I love to rap, but I also love my family, I love to watch Eurovision with em, I love to listen to musical theater, I still sleep with stuffed animals, I love to sing to my dog, and my closest friends are my sisters. If that makes me soft in anybody’s eyes, that’s fine with me. I’ve learned to be OK with that. I’m tired of pretendin otherwise. To everybody who was excited for the tournament, I’m truly sorry to disappoint you, but I think this is for the best.
To anybody who took the time to read this, thank you. While there are people on here who I was uncomfortable with but just wanted to avoid trouble with, there are/were also people on here who I feel grateful to have known and for that I thank you. Not gonna name names, but I think some of you know who you are. <3 Please continue to share ya talent with the world, you are capable of doin great things!
I wanna leave with one final thought: words matter. Before you say anything or just dismiss somethin as a joke or a dumb comment, remember that people are bein affected by those words in ways that we don’t always realize. There are certain things on here that I wish I had confronted or never said, but I was so naive to how the world worked and the best I can do is encourage the rest of you to be considerate. I used to think people were overly sensitive bout every little thing, but the truth is I’m sensitive too. I always was, I was just ashamed to admit it. But it’s ok to be sensitive, I promise.
Do the right thing for you and for the people around you, it’s never too late to do better.
Safe travels and good luck,
Mon, 28 Nov 2022 19:45:28 GMT
> Then stop accusing shit
I never accused you all I said was stop fighting/instigating on the site and the problem would be resolved.
Mon, 28 Nov 2022 19:49:53 GMT
yh okay but don’t fucking compare me to that prick you mentioned in our discord messages fuck that guy.
Mon, 28 Nov 2022 19:50:37 GMT
and that’s it convo finished.
Mon, 28 Nov 2022 19:52:04 GMT
Mf likes his own comments 😐
Mon, 28 Nov 2022 19:52:31 GMT
> Mf likes his own comments 😐
Yeah makes me feel good tbf Lmao.
Mon, 28 Nov 2022 19:52:45 GMT
I’m not the only one who does it tho 😂
Mon, 28 Nov 2022 20:18:43 GMT
Man what the fuck happened now
Mon, 28 Nov 2022 22:29:07 GMT
> I’m not the only one who does it tho 😂
its only cool when yeahz does it bro stop
Mon, 28 Nov 2022 22:32:06 GMT
PP is daddy stop defiling his grave faggots
Fri, 02 Dec 2022 03:18:04 GMT
Just logged back on and I’m feeling so upset. I’ll miss you Psycho. I understand everything you said tho. Also thank you for that verse for our Halloween song. You always supported me during the times I was struggling to get recognition and it’s much love and respect. If there’s any haters in these comments I’ll personally take care of them for you. Fuck those haters.
Fri, 02 Dec 2022 03:19:11 GMT
Fri, 02 Dec 2022 13:36:44 GMT
> words matter.
sounds like a you problem, bro.
Fri, 02 Dec 2022 13:37:39 GMT
just logging off is the normal response, not having it b life experience that a website made you feel weak.
Fri, 02 Dec 2022 13:37:59 GMT
it has to do w you not the site, remember that
Fri, 02 Dec 2022 13:39:01 GMT
mane supports bullying to ppl tht did nothing but be kind n support
tf is wrong w u lmfao
Fri, 02 Dec 2022 13:48:07 GMT
Words do matter 🤦♂️
Fri, 02 Dec 2022 13:49:04 GMT
U challenging this tells me ur also A problem....
Fri, 02 Dec 2022 13:51:07 GMT
N if u think its not... thats wrong with our world, were so not on the same page.... just wants me to blow up in rage....
Fri, 02 Dec 2022 20:06:19 GMT
Aww <3 bye puppet :(
Tue, 20 Dec 2022 04:50:13 GMT
I feel bad for not being on as this was happening. Psycho, I may not have had a lot of conversations with you, but you’ve always been so genuine with everyone here and you’ve made a true impact on all of us. When I had my first battle, you gave me advice on how to improve my wording. Looking back now, that one piece of advice has helped me in the future. Words do matter and impact lasts longer than most people realize. I wish you nothing but the best and hope to talk to ya sometime soon man <3