Wed, 06 Mar 2019 18:17:57 GMT
🥀 Sometimes the dark thoughts chirp away. They convince me that everything is falling apart.
They say that the intensity of emotions I'm feeling is because I cannot cope and because life will never be the same. Sometimes after a bad episode I come out with new insights, new ideas, new perspectives. However the actual process isn't fun at all. It is almost as if I was coming apart at the seams from the inside. Like my whole being was being dissected but there's nobody around to catch me. I gleam around for any safety zones I could enter, any safe actions or a safety net. Anything. There is none. Just a mish mash of anger, fear, sadness and wanting to do something stupid or risky that I know from past attempts will never really reach a desirable end. I just wish the cycle itself didn't exist. I've been told that my mental and emotional defects will subside at the age of 35. That is a long time to wait for mental stability. I just want to be able to sit and enjoy being me regardless and have faith that even when it feels like the world will end.. It doesn't mean it will
Sun, 16 Jun 2019 09:41:59 GMT
Agree'd. Our Awakening has ... Idk...I'm the only one that I know in person. I feel ... Sad like I've outgrown this world. But I'm still trying because Im still here. I'll make the best of it . Hugs.